Here's a wonderful amusing book on the subject - for some this is the bible for S&M: Try it may help you quickly identify his likes and his boundaries. Keep what you write light and playful and send it in snippets.
Any pain or superficial damage disappears in hours or at most 1 day. once people try it, vanilla sex is just plain dull by comparison. outsiders don't know that mixing pain with pleasure and sensory deprivation can create an erotic high not achievable any other way. Ignorance of S&M is the driver of the stigma. I read a survey that concluded 60% of all sexually active adults have engaged in some form of S&M play such as light bondage, hair pulling, and spanking. Many type As prefer submission in the bedroom as a release from leading and being in charge at all times outside of the bedroom.
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